The second blog prompt on the list is “Writing Motivation”. I don’t know what in the world I was thinking. Other than perhaps I thought in a desperate ADHD type moment that it would come to me right before I started to put my fingers on the keyboard.
It hasn’t happened like that.
I don’t have one single defining answer for you as to what is my current writing motivation.
In the past, I’ve focused my writing with the goal in mind to help others, especially those with mental health issues. I always felt so alone in my head growing up that I had this overwhelming need to open up as an adult able to put things in a better perspective – in chance that someone else who thought they were alone would stumble upon my words and find that silver of peace that you get when you know someone somewhere can relate. I’m not sure if I want to take on the mantle of mental health advocate, but thanks to the many kind folks that have reached out to me over the years, I know that the sharing of my life stories have actually helped others. So the idea of continuing to help people dealing with depression, anxiety, ADHD, and/or a form of PTSD motivates me to put words down again.
My life is a little overwhelming at the moment, in mostly good ways, but still overwhelming. I am a divorced mom of three teenagers and that alone is huge. There is no one to talk over things with in the evening that truly “gets” me and my children. Every decision, minute and humongous, has to be made by myself. So forcing myself to talk things out on paper, so to speak, motivates me to start blogging about being a single parent.
I’ve tried to broaden my social life by joining a church and a separate bible study that I kind of fit into for a while. It has been a blessing in so many ways because of the new friendships that I have formed that I truly treasure. Unfortunately, I’m always going to be the square peg in round hole when it comes to Christianity. But I volunteer on the Social Media team, I’ve served on the worship committee, and attended fellowship functions. I have even hung out with a few folks (yes – I was social IN REAL LIFE) outside of church. The challenge is that I don’t have anyone in those circles who is on the same wavelength as I am when it comes to certain beliefs, so that motivates me to write out what I cannot share elsewhere.
I don’t date. There are a myriad of reasons, but I’ll be honest and say it is mostly fear: fear of making another bad choice, fear because I’m not the person I want to be yet, fear that I am too old or too fat or just too much. Writing a post that maybe only a handful of people over the rest of my lifetime will ever read does not equal the benefits of a real life romantic connection. But in case I never find the courage to put myself out there, perhaps meet a crush in person then I’m betting if I ever do download Tinder again, dating in my 50s would definitely be an amusing motivation to write.
Last, but not least – I actually enjoy sharing great finds and since I am not a IRL social person – I get to tell the world about my favorite things though this site. So yes, the idea of combining that need to research and figure out the best of the best and pairing it with some affiliate links is a good writing motivation.
As you see, I am not going to be a niche blogger. My posts won’t always be filled with beautiful plates of home-cooked meals (LOLOLOL) nor sprinkled with glorious decor shots of my home. That’s really NEVER going to happen. These are the things that have brought me out of a six year hiatus and I hope I’ll stick around for a while this time.
For now, it is midnight and I’ve got the song “Sitting On The Dock Of The Bay” playing in my head – so I need to give myself permission to fall asleep. (Sometimes I have sleep FOMO)