• I don't hate you. I'm not stuck up. I am not even particularly shy. I am absolutely terrified of you even though that is completely irrational. That is social anxiety.

    A Face of Social Anxiety (I Don’t Hate You)

    Originally written on June 4th, 2012. Edited and updated April 2nd, 2020 I’m not rude or stuck up or even particularly all that shy, but I do deal with social anxiety. We were perhaps at that meeting the other day together — I’m the one who didn’t talk. You might have noticed the sheen of sweat that gathered on my forehead as time went on. I watched everyone carefully and if we met eyes, I smiled at you. And then probably turned my torso slightly away from you, a body signal designed to discourage small talk. I was scared of you — an irrational emotion – but there just the…

  • Trust me, as you get to know me, I just get weirder.
    Mental Health

    Friendships & Mental Health

    Friendships & Mental Health… That’s a crappy blog title, isn’t it? That damn title is the reason why it has taken me so long to write this piece. I have finally given up and accepted that this is the headline. What I want the title to be is: “Even Though I Have Depression/Anxiety, I Can Be a Good Friend – Most of the Time”. Or “I’m A Little Off. Can We Still Be Friends?”. I wonder a lot how other people in my position handle friendships. It is hard enough to make/maintain friendships after 40 51, but throw in a little wackiness on top of it and you might sometimes…

  • Be Afraid Live Anyway
    Mental Health

    Be Afraid But Live Anyway

    So, I came along this graphic on Facebook that basically says “Be Afraid But Live Anyway”: It reminded me of a session I had with a psych doc about six or so years ago. I had become very agoraphobic again after a trip to the grocery store. My oldest was walking along side of me while I had the twins in the cart and I was asking them to not stand up and the other one to stop touching everything. A man came up and started addressing my kids. He said something like “You need to listen to your mother. Very bad things happen to kids when they don’t listen.…